My Two-Cents: Free Will Usage
The other day, a friend told me that he only has a few absolutes, but ice cream every night before bed is one of them. Out of curiosity, I asked him to send me his daily schedule. I wanted to know how he used his free will.
Here it is — copied verbatim:
8:55 a.m. → Wake up (not a second later) + Duolingo + Wordle in bed
9:30 a.m. → Morning coffee + podcast / shout at myself in the car (motivational purposes)
10:00 a.m.–1:05 p.m. → Read papers, work on research, TA work, catch up on class notes
4:50 p.m. → Leave for workout class
5:30–6:30 p.m. → Muay Thai class / life
7:15 p.m. → “Healthy” nachos + soda + watch TV
8:00–10:00 p.m. → Work on research some more
10:00 p.m. → Get high (sometimes earlier if I feel “off”) + play guitar + make beats + “fun” writing + think about research + eat ice cream (non-negotiable) + watch TV or read + sometimes dive more into research
1:00 a.m. → Go to bed + ponder the philosophical implications of life
Hopefully, you found that as entertaining as I did when I received it via text last Tuesday. It actually prompted me to start my own social experiment (another one — since I usually like to have a few meddling tasks running at once).
After reading my friend’s brilliantly bonkers use of free will, I wanted to know how my other friends (and foes) were using theirs. Were people still making a spectacle out of the wonderful occasion that is being alive?
Here’s the verdict — case by case. Names have been removed to protect vulnerable populations. My friends (and foes) sometimes say things that are better left off the record.
“Slept on my couch for a night to appreciate how comfortable my bed was again. When me my boyfriend and I start complaining about the bed, we’ll sleep on the couch the next night. By morning, I’m half-asleep and walking back to bed. That, and I grabbed five bottles of Aldi sweet red on a Monday morning to stock up. The moms didn’t think that was very classy.”
“Making two lattes every morning and then having too much caffeine, but never learning the lesson because it’s too good. Then boyfriend tells me the same thing every time — ‘you won’t feel good,’ blah blah blah.”
“Every day I wake up and say, ‘today is going to be a ___ day.’ Then, whenever someone asks me how my day is going, I fill in the blank. Some of my favorites are awesome sauce, dank, splendid, and amazeballz.”
“Rollerbladed the bike trails after a bad day while crying. It felt good to let out some frustration on my blades.”
“Not killing myself.”
“Went bowling in the student union basement because it sounded more fun than sitting in Moos during lunch.”
“Trying to be naked more.”
“Eating dinner for breakfast most days.”
“Built a fort in the living room with my boyfriend because our bed seemed boring.”
“How do we even know we have free will?”
“Got a strawberry milkshake at Chick-fil-A.”
“Skipped my last lecture because I didn’t like the sound of my professor’s voice.”
“Went to a pumpkin patch and rode a ride made for kids because it looked fun.”
“Walked around Chicago one day after work just because I could.”
“Sent a meme to the LOML (past FWB) that said, ‘Goodnight. I hope you dream about angels, or me. It’s the same thing anyway.’”
“Got surgery on my nose so I can breathe — haha, is that free will? Also made apple crisp.”
“Went to the movie theater just to buy popcorn because I wanted movie theater popcorn.”
“Got wings for breakfast because I was craving wings and who’s gonna stop me?”
“My patient failed, so I went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch in the middle of the day.”
“Took a random turn on my run this morning and ended up at a park I’d never been to.”
“Idk how I’ve been using free will, but our brother has been screaming at WNBA games lately so I think he’s officially addicted to sports betting.”
“Watched a movie with my boyfriend instead of studying because that sounded better for what I needed.”
“Made my boyfriend listen to Gravy Train on full volume (for the full experience) while driving me to class.”
“Sliding down railings instead of walking.”
“Bought supplies to make chocolate-chip pumpkin bars, then instead of baking, I just ate chocolate chips and watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”
“Took a Lime scooter to the pregame and blared Rich Baby Daddy for myself and all passerby to catch a vibe to”
“Went to a pet store after school to pet kittens instead of studying.”
“Left the bar early, went home, took an edible, and jammed out to ‘Float On’ by Modest Mouse.
“Bought myself an ice cream cake because I can.”
There’s beauty in the mundane, but brilliance in the random sparks of free will. The best lives, I think, are a blend of both.
You can’t play hooky all the time (well, you could — that’s just called unemployment). You also can’t live in a rigid routine 24/7. You can’t go on four-day benders every other week (well, you can — that’s called freshman year). You have to find a balance between extremes (Ugh, again — you can but it’s called being a dud). This is something I struggled with last year ; every other Monday, I’d walk into the lab swearing off drinking forever. “Didn’t add any value to my life,” I’d say. Bladh Blah Blah. “Didn’t make me feel better.” Blah blah blah. What I didn’t realize then is that life isn’t about all-or-nothing ultimatums. It’s about knowing when to use your free will rigidly, and when to display it boldly!
This past week serves as a reminder that there are plenty of hours in the day available for both.
And for me personally, I’m still figuring out my own nightly non-negotiable free will usage. It’s probably not preemptive bedtime ice cream like my friend above, but I’m trying on different hats: rollerblading at dawn and watching the sunrise spill over the city skyline from the Stone Arch Bridge, popcorn every night before bed next week, etc. Whatever it ends up being, I’m keeping a daily reminder that I have both the ability and the responsibility to choose. And that’s a responsibility I don’t plan on taking lightly!
Regards, Hugs, and Coors Light,
Kate E. Thors
2016 Memorial Middle School Vice President | In the market for a DJ board | Perfectionist (If perfect and average were synonymous) | Girl who is currently craving a Slinky from The Bar The Bar in Lincoln, NE
If you have any recent above-par uses of free will, please share below…
