My Two-Cents: Our Baby Brother
Out of all the things I’m thankful for, my siblings are probably at the top of that list. The adage goes, “Our parents leave us too soon, and our lovers come too late, but our siblings are with us for the entire ride.” Someday I’ll probably have four kids. Not as much for me, but rather so my kids can experience the joy of being one of four. The joy of having three losers who will tease you relentlessly but be the first ones to have your back when you need it. Being the oldest of four, I got to experience having playmates and also watching my younger brothers grow up from babies to potty-mouthed toddlers to wholesome humans I’m proud to share a name with. I remember each time I was called out of class, and my grandma picked me up to go see the new one at the hospital. I vividly recall getting called out of Mr. Degraff’s third-grade class in the afternoon on September 7th to see my baby brother, Jack. My mom was not one for nicknames or hard spellings, so she named us all accordingly: Kate, Brooke, Luke, Jack. But there was one summer when Brooke, Luke, and I told Jack that my mom had really named him Wakulous on that cold fall day, and we felt so bad when we came home, so we called him Jack instead and never told him. That story led to Jack/Wakulous shedding lots of angry tears and throwing things, so my mom quickly (and rightfully) scolded us. That scolding got more intense when Brooke and I took the time to make him a fake birth certificate with the fictitious name and to get my dad in on the scheme.
I know what you probably think – poor Jack! That kid didn’t stand a fighting chance with three facetious assholes as older siblings! And you would be right, we used to tease and pester him like no other. But as my great-grandmother used to say, you tease the ones you love the most. And our constant pestering of our youngest sibling usually coincided with love, adoration, giggles, and good intentions. Plus, if there was any kid who was suited to follow in the footsteps of three quick-witted and sharp-tongued siblings, it was Jack Andrew Thorstenson.
My sister and I both moved downstairs to the basement when Jack was born. But we spent lots of time up in his room, as we were thrilled to have our own little baby to love on. We weren't so fond of helping our mother with the other things that come with a baby, like changing his diaper. So, we didn’t! Sorry mom. This baby felt a little more fun to partake in than the last one, because we were a little older and our mom let us do more with him. We got to babysit him as he grew up. Which quickly turned into him and Luke teaming up on Brooke and me to steal sugary snacks and attempt to run away.
For the first five years of his life, he was dragged along to all of his older siblings' sporting events under the sun. I shouldn’t say the first five – for Jack’s entire life, he was hauled to his siblings' stuff. But some become ready, and others are born ready. Jack was the latter. He’s the epitome of a youngest kid – crafty, witty, and self-sufficient. Being the youngest of 4 kids all under the age of 8, he had to fight for attention. He had to make friends with his sister's teammates and younger siblings. He had to learn to entertain himself when his parents were preoccupied with another kid. The “other kid” was usually his older brother Luke, who was finding novel ways to push our mom's buttons by the day. Jack played imaginary football with himself in the backyard for hours. I asked him once if he wanted me to play with him, and he told me no, I wouldn’t do it right. He learned to do shit at 3 that I didn’t figure out till 7. Except for riding a bike – he was a late bloomer on that one… So many other things were happening in our Legacy St house that he somehow slipped through the cracks in the biking department. Also, my brother Luke once took off his training wheels and hid them, so I think that experience soured his desire to learn!
Jack was born ready to rock and roll. I couldn’t think of a better addition to our rambunctious family. He is the perfect fit. My mom is the strongest person I know, with a tenacity level I rarely see paralleled. My dad is genuine and kind to all. I am strong-willed and sarcastic. Brooke is stubborn and sassy. Luke is clever and persistent. And Jack is all of the best traits in us combined. I love and have loved watching Jack grow up because I get to learn from him just as much as he has learned from us. I hit an age in late elementary school/middle school when I became very preoccupied with the opinions of others and trends. I think most kids feel this – we come into this world bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. And later on, we attempt to reel in the characteristics and hobbies we view as straying from the norm. In all the years of Jack Thorstenson, I’ve never seen him reel it in. He is so authentically himself in every room. He has never attempted to hide his quirks. He leans into them loudly, regardless of who is watching. He has watched South Park and Family Guy religiously, and long before my parents knew about it… He quotes old movies with panache, a trait I find rad as fuck. He loves his friends and family hard, and is never shy to show it. My favorite part of middle school mornings was when he would get up early and crawl into my loft bed before I had to get up. Though he’s now taller than me, I’ll always see him as the little kid who used to beg to watch an hour of Curious George before I left for school. The little boy that couldn’t keep his hands out of the Sams’s club cook dough tub. And the little boy who would wave goodbye to my friends and me from the back seat of my dad's car after morning school drop-offs. A parallel my sister and I would have when we would drop him off in the morning for 3rd grade, once my dad switched from night news to mornings, about a decade later. The only unfortunate thing for JT was that we would often roll down the windows, blare Gravy Train, and yell “Goooddddbye Wakulous, we looooooove you!”. We thought it was funny, but Jack did not, and he told our mom, and we had to stop “Blaring Young Gravy on School Property”.
There are so many things about Jack that I love. And being his big sister has been one of my favorite titles. Brooke, Luke, and I would not be the same without him. And we’ll have his back even when he doesn’t want us to. We love you 3000, Wakulous! And thankfully, years ago, Brooke and I begged my mom to get us a camera so we could start making him “Good luck, Jack” videos. It was a subtle nod to our favorite TV show, Good Luck Charlie. We never saw any of the footage until decades after it was filmed, when I stumbled upon it in the basement during COVID. I think this video summarizes the early years of Wakulous to a T.
Happy 15th, JT! Your big sister is more proud of you than you could ever know. I love watching you grow into the funny, witty, kind, caring, genuine yet facetious human being you are.
