My Two-Cents: The Electoral Remix, DJs for Office
My friend Grace has recently developed a predilection for the art of DJ-ing. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention I also find the profession somewhat enthralling. Though I once wrote a piece shitting on the art (My Two-Cents: Too Many Wedding DJs), I’ve grown since then. Sonic sages like Two Friends, John Summit, Flume, DJ Diesel/Shaq, and DJ Dixon have led me to rethink my notion.
My newfound appreciation leads me towards two paths forward:
Buy a DJ set from Facebook Marketplace, and Grace and I spend the next month of summer break spinning beats ion preperation for my fall back-to-school house-warming party (sample demos available per request).
Write a DJ appreciation post as an apology for my last post disparaging their profession.
I’m going to double dip and do both. I deeply regret insulting DJs and calling their skills frivolous. I was wrong. And I am sorry. Hopefully, any DJs previously insulted by Ns2c will find the following an acceptable apology.
The epitome of living in the moment is a DJ. They master the ebbs and flows of the dance floor. The big J could easily be replaced with a little r if you appreciate the fact that they read the pulse of the room like seasoned vets. These sonic sculptors don’t just play music; they shape experiences. Remember that one party you went to with a boof ass DJ? I do. In college, my favorite bar had a crowd-favorite DJ. But then he did the 75 hard, and our dance floor faded into mediocrity. It was a damn shame. (Both that the vibes sucked, and that anyone would want to go sober for 75 days.) A good DJ masters when a crowd needs a breather, when to tease a beat, and when to let it drop.
In a world crippled with political segregation, could DJs be the unexpected saviors? And further, potential public servants? If these people can curate methods to madness at 1:45 A.M., who's to say they couldn’t do it on 3 P.M. on a Tuesday on Capitol Hill?
I went straight to the horse's mouth for answers. Since Shaq/DJ Diesel wouldn’t return my calls, I opted to interview DJ Dixon. I needed answers. How does one master the art of the DJ? What separates the greats from the Spotify queue-clickers? Could DJs unite society beyond the dance floor?
Interview with DJ Dixon
*All questions were prepared by Grace E. Mathiason
1. What type of euphoria do you feel while DJing?
It’s like taking Molly, but 107.51x better.
2. What is the best song to play vs what is your personal favorite?
Best song: Love Sosa mixed into The Spins mixed into Mr. Brightside (it’s like a Cinnamon Sugar bagel on a breakfast sandwich – it just works). Favorite song to play: Beethoven’s 14th symphony (13 minutes in; extended track). [He emphasized that it was the 14th, not the 7th, multiple times.]
3. Do you feel like a god when your set is hitting and everyone is dancing?
I am a God at all times. Do I feel like a God at all times? No. I’m a sad God. A bad God. A pouty God. A bawdy God. A messy God. A petty God. But a God, nevertheless. When I DJ? Yes, but not because I'm powerful, but rather, because I've tricked the people into worshiping the Devil. [We just let this answer be and moved on.]
4. Do you ever dream that you are John Summit?
Not since the morning of August 13th, 2022, on the tussled farms of Bisbee, Arizona. [DJ failed to elaborate further upon request.]
5. Do you ever wish you could have an out-of-body experience and be able to experience your djing first-hand in the crowd? Or are you not there yet?
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[This answer had to be censored because it was too graphic. DJs sometimes overshare. Lack of taciturn nature hints DJs may not do well holding office.]
6. What is the best chirp you've gotten when bombing a set?
Just to be crystal clear: I, Noah Dixon, have never committed any war crimes, nor do I ever intend to. [It’s nice to see someone take their job with such riveting seriousness and enthusiasm.]
7. How do you start DJing?
You don’t. One does not simply choose DJing; one becometh unto it, much like Life begets Death. [DJ was struggling to hold back tears at this point.]
8. As a girl, should I just start going up to DJs at the bar to get hands-on experience, or is that frowned upon? Would this work on you?
You can get hands-on experience anytime you want, Grace. [At this point in the interview, the DJ had to be reminded to keep it professional. Again, not a great indication of public servant skills.]
9. Is everything premixed?
A better question is: “Will AI take over my job?” The answer is: no, AI could never get too drunk during a set, puke all over the DJ stand, smoke a cigarette with a stray cat, and finish the proofs for their problem set, all in the same night. [We followed up by asking the DJ if he had ever gone to rehab, to which he declined to comment.]
10. If it is premixed, does that make you a fraud?
Premixing your set is like smoking a camel crush cigarette and not crushing the camel: it’s ludicrous behavior, and it won’t be accepted in this household. [Ns2c does not endorse/encourage smoking in any way, shape, or form.]
DJ Dixon would also like it documented that he often left the music playing & took a lap around the building to see if he could bum a cigarette off the elderly folk. And that after he defends his thesis, he plans on making all of his students call him Dr. DJ Dixon.
There you have it, folks! The mind of a DJ. After this interview, I have the final answers to my previous questions.
It is not possible to master the art of the DJ; the art of the DJ must choose to master you. Good DJs become great through trials and tribulations, much like the culinary arts. It takes time and patience to master the art of blending flavors, or melodies, into a dish so beautiful it is reveled.
DJs are great, brave, eccentric young folk who should be celebrated – but not elected. Their hands are already preoccupied hovering over faders, like conductors of collective serotonin. Taking our pain and turning it into sweaty, joyful catharsis on crowded dance floors. Let’s keep them there.
Minneapolis residents are encouraged to subscribe to Ns2c below for more information on the upcolming KTxGM DJ Debut on 7 P.M. on September 6th.
